Picture Credit: The Contemplative Monk

Once again I took another quote from my friend Tim’s Facebook page. He always seems to find what I am thinking just as I am preparing for my next post and this was no exception. We all deal with our demons and issues. Some have been with us for years, some are self imposed, others just seem to find us because we keep ourselves open to letting mire infiltrate our lives. Often those issues are so intense that we can’t seem to keep them from being part of our daily lives and we continuously bring others in to suffer the mire with us. Then when we start to see those individuals less and less, we wonder why it is that they have distanced themselves.

We all need support from our friends and family at many times throughout our lives. It is a part of the love that we share that we are willing to be there for each other in our times of need. However, the issue comes in when we expect everyone to continuously be a part of our issues and never make the effort to solve any of those issues on our own. We expect everyone else to fix what may be wrong because we just can’t find the strength and willpower to help ourselves. Then we begin to wonder why it is that we don’t see them as often, or not at all when they have had enough.

Friendship and love are two way streets. We should be there and help each other. However, we should also provide the opportunity to participate in each other’s lives when things are going well. When we “pull them into our peace”, we are providing them validation that their help is supplementing the help that we are giving ourselves and that we are not expecting them to solve all our problems. When they have the opportunity to celebrate our joy, then they have more incentive to participate in our pain. That is the very nature of life.

My friends know that I would be there for them at a moments notice. I also know that they would do the same for me. However, there are moments when I am “in my head” that I just need to work it out on my own. I don’t need them to be a part of my every storm, just those where I need that little extra help to get me through the situation or event. By making each other a part of our successful and peaceful moments, we know that we are truly integrated into each other’s life in a healthy way.

So, if you have that one person that is your dumping ground and you only seem to bring them in when the times are tough, maybe it is time to give them a break. Let them share in the good moments as well and offer them the opportunity to not be a crutch, but rather a lift for a change. The more you make them a part of your whole life, the stronger your friendship will become and true wholesome friendship is a beautiful thing.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Mornings with Ron is now available as a podcast at anchor.fm/morningswithron and on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify and most podcast sites.

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