Since the beginning of the Bring Smile to Seniors program, I have had the pleasure of interacting with some of the most talented people I have ever encountered. The handmade cards from card artists across the world have been unique, creative and beautiful. I have come to learn that the people behind the cards are equally as beautiful.

When I started this program we bought cards from the stores anytime we could find them on sale. Then we made the decision to start a Facebook page and start advertising to try and get word out about what we were doing. The power of social media is incredible and as one card artist found about us, they shared with their friends and family over and over. By the second year of the program we no longer needed to buy cards because of the generosity of many people believing in what we do.

The level of creativity in the card artist community astounds me every day. When we receive a new package and open it up, we are always met with cards that make us laugh, smile, cry and feel the warmth and love that the cards are meant to bring. If it does that for us, just imagine what it does for the senior ultimately receiving the card. The cards are always different, unique, imaginative and crafted with the finest detail. Some have mastered the art of repurposing and turning plain or old cards into something new and magical. Others start with a clean slate and turn paper into art.

We receive everything from one card to boxes of hundreds. Handmade, repurposed, store bought or hand paintings that we turn into cards, each and every one the lifeline of this program. I have heard your stories why you do what you do and it has touched my heart in more ways than you can imagine. I have also had the pleasure of meeting some of you in my travels around the country when the city happened to match up with my itinerary. Several months ago I met Marcia in Washington State, I met Becky and Donna in Florida and tonight I will meet Alice in Illinois. Other than seeing seniors smile, interacting with all of you is one of my favorite things that I do.

We are so appreciative for the time, dedication, money and creativity that each and every one of our card artists put into the cards that are sent to us. That is why we call you our card angels. I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention our card decorators. Individuals who continuously decorate and write messages in the blank cards we receive by the 1000’s like Jennifer in Connecticut, Cathy in Georgia, Cathy in Florida, Sonja in Missouri and all those who help us with decorating.

Because all of you also believed that we could turn this one little dream into a very big reality, we have delivered our 50,000th card since we started the program in March 2016. Over 28,000 just this year alone. That is one amazing feat and that is what makes you our card angels.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

This weekend when I was home for Father’s Day, as I usually do I stopped by the cemetery to pay respects to Grandma Lola. There is something calming about having one on one time there, even though the person isn’t in front of you. This visit and a prompting from my friend Kim last week reminded me of something that I wanted to share.

As my mother well knows, one of the hardest things in dealing with people who have dementia is when you come to the point where their reality is no longer the reality that we all experience. They tell you things they did the night before that were not even possible and they see and experience things that we don’t see. In dealing with this, our first nature is to correct them and tell them they are wrong because we aren’t seeing the same things they are. Breaking this habit is so difficult to do because we want so bad for them to see our reality. This is neither healthy for the person or the caregiver nor all of those that come into contact with the patient.

With time, we learned to just accept what Grandma was saying. If she said she was at work or out shopping the night before, when we knew she had never left the nursing home, we just played along with her.  We asked her things like what she bought or how work went. She would often have responses that correlated to what she had experienced in her mind. Agreeing with her made her comfortable in sharing. Attempting to correct her made her agitated and upset. Playing along was by no means an easy task to learn, but one so important for the well being of both patient and caregiver.

There is no book for dealing with dementia.  There are help references that attempt to guide you along the way. However, each person is unique and different. Dealing with them in a way that makes both people comfortable is something that is learned over time. Equally important is the fact that although they may just sit in silence and not acknowledge your speaking to them, they hear you. They know everything that you are saying. Unfortunately, that means side conversations you are having with each other are being heard as well. So, talking about them in their presence because you are assuming they don’t understand you is definitely a misconception.

As most people, my family had zero training in caring for a patient with dementia and we had to learn as we go. It can be an arduous and painful process, but rewarding in the sense that you are left with a feeling of having done your best with no regrets when the caring time has come to an end.  If you are dealing with a family member or friend with dementia or Alzheimers, I am sure you can relate. As difficult as it seems at times, remember that although they may not seem present, they are listening.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

One of life’s greatest gifts is the gift of friendship. As we travel through our journey, people come in and out of our lives at different intervals. Some are there for a just fleeting moment, some come for a short period of time and others are there for a lifetime. The latter ones are the people that we truly have a responsibility to take care of and nourish.

When you think about the amount of people that any one individual has to choose from to become a close friend, the fact that they have chosen us is quite an honor.  Likewise for those that we choose. The question is, are we willing to devote the time and energy to ensuring that the the efforts put into the friendships are equal.

People often say that friendships and relationships are work. In reality, they shouldn’t be. If you are having to work very hard at keeping a friendship alive then it is probably a good time to look at whether or not the effort you are putting in to the friendship is worth the benefit the you are receiving from it.

I am very fortunate.  Most of my close friends have been friends of mine for 20 years or more. In fact, I have friends that are more close to 35 years. Some live near and some are in other states or overseas. We may go months without talking, yet every time we are together the time we spend is quality time. It is as if there had been no time lapse at all. We do not ask more of each other than we know we can give. The relationships do not give us angst, they give us delight.  That is how friendships should be.

There are people who have to have many people around all the time. The risk of that is that you stretch yourself so thin that it is unlikely that you could devote any time to building a true lasting friendship. That works for some people, but I suspect in the long run it isn’t nearly as satisfying.

It is always good to periodically check in our your friendships and let those that are close to you know that you care. They should equally be doing the same. Sometimes it is just the thing that you need to make your day. In fact, it is often just what you need to put a little pep in your step.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

NOTE:  Friday, Monday and Tuesday I will be unable to write so I will be posting some of my previous favorite posts. Look for a new post on Wednesday next week.

My friend Rick and I were sitting and talking before the movies this weekend about people who say they are going to do something and then never follow through. It got me to thinking about how many times I have made plans and the other person did not show or call. This thought caused me to question, just what is our word worth?

Many times people fail to realize that our word has consequences. When we agree to do something and give our word it often sets off a series of events that our word has a major effect on. People change plans to accommodate what we said we were going to do. People budget on what people said they were going to give. People make things, prepare things and even purchase things just because we gave our word.

Unfortunately, we have all encountered people where their word does not seem to matter. Those of us who are true to our word can spot these people pretty quickly and it is likely that they do not not remain in our circle of friends for very long. If they do, shame on us. Unless there is a true emergency, the lack of respect for our time and commitment really is inexcusable. However, we also have a responsibility on our side to call out their actions, as often it has become such a pattern of behavior for the individual that do not even realize what they are doing. For them it is “the norm” as they have been allowed to get away with it for so long.

Our word is one thing that belongs solely to us. Only we have control over it and only we have the ability to deliver on it. It says a lot about who we are as individuals and the character that we portray to others. Sometimes it is innate, other times it is learned. At all times it is incredibly important to understand the value and the power that our word has.

My grandmother and parents always taught me that your word is golden. When I was in the military I was always told that if you were not 15 minutes early you were late. Throughout life I learned that people depended on my word to be true. That is why it is important to stop and think before you give your word to ensure that you are able to deliver. Our word should not be given to please someone, it should be given because we know in our heart we can follow through.

There will always be times when something comes up that is out of our control. In those instances a phone is usually in arms reach, especially today with our technological capabilities. In reality, those times should be rare. When they are rare, our ability to keep our word and reputation intact becomes all the more easier.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

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As you can probably tell by now, I use quotes a lot in my writing. They are often the inspiration that triggers the subject that I want to write about for the day. Yesterday was no exception. Sunday, I was watching CBS This Morning and saw a piece on Massimo Bottura, owner of one of, if not the best restaurant in the world Osteria Francescana, a three Michelin Star restaurant in northern Italy. He was talking about how initially no one would some to his restaurant, but he never lost sight of his dream. He said, “If you don’t dream and dream big, you can’t change the world.” I immediately wrote that down.

Often in the early days of the Bring Smiles to Seniors program, I would say that I had a little dream. My little dream was to change seniors’ world one card, one smile at a time. Now as I sit here two and a half years later, I realize that my little dream has become a big reality as we have delivered over 28,000 cards in 2018 alone. Our first year we managed to eek out 7,719, so that is tremendous growth that we are very proud of.

People coming together for a common cause have the most amazing power to change the world, but that can’t happen without dreaming big. One by one volunteers signed on to my dream. First there was just myself and Linda. Soon we were joined by Renee, Becky, Diane and finally Liane. Each one becoming an integral part of our teams’ little dream. In the early days we bought out dollar store cards with our own money. Then our card donors started becoming a part of the dream, one by one. Schools and civic groups became part of the dream. Then decorators, donors and people who believed in dreaming big. Even when there were times when I thought we were done, the dream never died.

Even though our postage costs are enormous, we ran all the operating expenses of this program on less than $14,000 in donations and fundraising last year. I am always taken back when people don’t understand why we get excited over $5, $7, or $10. What they don’t realize is that $7 is the difference of whether or not we will be able to mail cards to a senior community or not. Not one of our volunteers has ever taken a penny in payment for their services, actually they have all put in their own time, resources and money because they believe in dreaming big. It is also why your amazing donated cards and decorating time are the lifeline of what we do.

When we started this program, we were just hoping to reach senior communities in the Tampa Bay Area. Then we started our home delivery program run by Renee. Then came the Michigan branch of our program run by Diane. Finally, our special community mailing program run by Liane. Because we were not afraid to dream big this year we delivered to senior communities in all 50 states, twice and some even more.

If you want something you have to give it your all and go for it. If it nurtures your soul then the work is so much easier. I believe that little dreams can become very big realities and like Massimo said, if you don’t dream big you really can’t change the world. We will continue to dream big and will change a senior’s world one card, one smile at a time.

Have a great day, may your little dream become a big reality and remember to be the reasons someone smiles.

Ron

The other day I was browsing through the news and came across this quote by Kerry Washington, “If I sit around and wait for other people to create magic in my life, I will be waiting until the day I die.” It resonated with me and got me to thinking.

No one is in better control of our lives than ourselves. Every day we get up and are faced with many decisions to be made that will take our life in one direction or another. Sometimes we make the right choices, sometimes our choices are not that great. Hopefully when it is the latter, we use those to make course corrections that will keep us from making the same mistakes again.

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who just sit back and expect everything in life to come to them. They feel they do not need to make the effort because life is supposed to deliver them whatever they want on a silver platter. They deserve it because they want it, yet they lack the willingness to work for it.

Achieving what we want in life requires commitment and work. The universe rewards us for effort, dedication, compassion and our willingness to work for what we desire. If we sit back and just expect it all to fall in our lap, then we are in for a lot of disappointment. Likewise, if we wait for others to create the magic we are looking for in our lives, then that disappointment becomes compounded.

All our lives have the ability to be magical. The question is whether or not we have the ability to create that magic ourselves. I have always been the type of person to go after what I want. If it is truly something that I desire and it will nurture my soul it is rare that I will allow no to be an option. I learned a long time ago that if I wait for someone else to create that magic for me, the majority of the time the magic never arrives.

Life can be a grand adventure or a boring existence. No matter what path you choose at the end of the day it is our life and how we choose to live it. The amount of magic that is in our life is totally up to us. We just have to recognize that the only magician that can make that magic happen is looking right at us in the mirror.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smile today.

Ron

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and can not go back to sleep because you just can’t shut your brain off? No matter how hard you try, every thought about everything that is going on in your life comes into your mind and you can’t seem to stop the flow of information. You wind up laying there tossing and turning and before you know it hours have gone by. That happened to me the last couple of nights and I began to think why this may be happening.

As we go throughout our day we are bombarded by information. At work it comes from all angles. Our computers, phones, meetings, memos, messages and just general conversation. Along with that we have all of our personal issues finding their way into what ever extra minute we may squeeze out during the day. Then at the end of the day when it’s all over new avenues of information start to flow.

We hear the news or the radio on the drive home and we get bombarded with even more information. We turn on the TV after we get home and the news stories, political ads, regular advertisements start to invade out thoughts. Our loved ones get home and we hear all about what was going on with their day while we tell them about ours. We pick up the newspaper that we may not have gotten to in the morning or check our personal or work email and the information keeps coming. When you consider all of that, it is no wonder why we can’t seem to make it through the night.

What I haven’t quite figured out at this point is how to shut it all off. How do you just stop and do nothing? Even with the “me time” I talk about it involves some activity and rarely involves completely shutting down. Even when I was painting my parents living room I couldn’t take a break. I kept going until it was all finished, no matter the hours. It is if there is some gene in us that keeps the drive going, unfortunately sometimes until we collapse.

I come by it honest. My grandmother and my uncle were exactly the same way. They would go until they were forced to quit. Most of the time that involved manual labor. Now that society has added all the technology we have today, it has become practically impossible to unplug at a time when we need to unplug most. We know the news is never good, yet we watch it. We know we need to stay away from work after hours but we still sign on to see if there are messages to be answered. We know we need to take some time for ourselves, yet we still live on our phones, texting, talking and searching.

I would venture to say that many of us experience these same issues and the answer is just to unplug. Put down the phones, step away from the TV, sit on the front porch, hang out by the water or even go for a swim. Easier said than done, but something beneficial for our health that we all need to think about. If you have any secrets, share them with us. In this world that never stops we could all use a little encouragement for some much needed down time.

Have a great weekend, find some downtime and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Everyone likes to have nice things. They are an integral part of our daily life and there is nothing wrong with that as long as we acquire things in moderation or within our means. It is when possessions become a part of defining who we are that issues start to arise that can often be problematic. The questions is, just how long do those possessions bring satisfaction and can they sometimes be replaced by experiences that create even more value?

Consider this comparison. You go out and buy a new car. For a short period of time that car brings you immense joy. People see it and comment on it, you feel good about being in something new and for a short period of time it has brought an enhancement to your life that you enjoy. Now consider 10 years out. Do you even remember the car that you had or the emotions that came along with it when you bought it? Likely not.

Now think about a week long trip that you may have taken. You experienced new places, sights, sounds and cultures, good food and probably even had an opportunity to meet new people. Now consider 10 years out in that situation. You are sitting around the table, perhaps with people that were on that trip with you and the memories are as vivid as the day you were on the journey.

Possessions seem to have an expiration date on when those items continue to bring you value. However, experiences tend to create memories that seem to last a lifetime. When considering the expenditure of either, it is important to consider the long term benefit of the decision and that often guides us to make the right choice.

I am the first to admit that I like nice things. However, I try to balance that with experiences that nurture the soul so the expenditures are not lopsided and all I wind up with is a lot of stuff that brings no value. I also try not to let possessions define who I am and balance that with giving back to the community to create a well rounded life. It is easy to get caught up in trying to keep up with everyone else, but in the end we have to decide for ourselves what is going to contribute to a more well balanced and happy life. Every day we have to make a decision to buy it or do it and sometimes doing provides far more benefit than anything we could ever buy.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

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Is it possible that there is nothing we can do if we put our minds to it? I am a firm believer that is definitely the case. If I had not believed it before, the last couple of months have definitely made me a believer for sure.

I have never been the type of person that was big on manual labor. I am more of a desk person. I can negotiate contracts, manage clients, keep good books and just about anything that does not involve manual labor. However, since my dad’s diagnosis with Lymphoma I have discovered that I can do just about anything I put my mind to.

Most of my friends would never believe me if I said I ran plumbing, laid tile, painted walls, changed vanities, hung blinds and a myriad of other things. As a matter of fact, if you had asked me a few months ago I probably would have told you I did not believe it myself either. However, when someone you love is in need you somehow find hidden talents and capabilities that you would not have otherwise thought you would have been able to do.

I believe that we all have an amazing amount of ability just under the surface. However, we are either never presented with the opportunity to discover it or doubt keeps us from making an attempt. Think about it. I bet each and every one of you have done something at one point in your life or another and said to yourself, “how and the world did I do that?”

My hope for each and every one of you is that you find that hidden talent that will surprise and delight you. When it comes your way, believe in yourself and give it your all. Tell yourself that you know you can. I now know I can.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

This weekend I had the pleasure of working on cards with my niece Courtney. I thought it was the perfect time to share a post again I did about her back in May.

I had the pleasure of Courtney coming into my life when she was four years old. Interacting with a Downs Syndrome child was not new to me as I had a cousin close to my age who had special needs as well. I learned at an early age that they were very special people and that they have a uniqueness about them that endears them to your heart.

If you have never had the opportunity to interact with a child or adult with this condition, then you are missing out. They have a love and compassion that knows no boundaries and Courtney is certainly no exception to the rule. From the first moment that we met, I knew that we were going to hit it off and hit it off we did.

Courtney is personality plus, kind and one of the funniest people that you will ever meet. I tell Debbie all the time that she could have her own TV show. The way that things come out of her mouth with the innocence of a child but the wit of an adult astounds me every time I am around her. At 22, mentally she is at a much lower educational level yet at times I believe that she is way smarter than many adults I know, myself included.

Once of the things I admire most about Courtney is her desire to serve. Put her in the kitchen and you will think you are at a five star restaurant. Take her to a restaurant and she immediately joins the staff and becomes a seater. Visiting a local restaurant where she and Debbie are patrons is an experience in itself. She commands attention from both the staff and the patrons with a sense of love and caring that is beautiful to watch.

If you ever meet Courtney, first she will show you her nails and then she will advise you that a color you are wearing matches her clothes. This is a given. Spend a little more time with her and you will discover that sitting in front of you is this incredible person that just permeates your entire being and she will quickly carve a place in your heart that will be hers forever.

One of my pet peeves is to see people with negative reactions to special needs children and adults. I have been known on occasion to share my thoughts on that with the people themselves, which often catches them off guard. Sometimes it is lack of knowledge, sometimes it is the fear of the unknown and often it is just down right stupidity. Anyone who has spent any time around special needs people understand that they come with challenges but at the end of the day the rewards far exceed any challenges they may present.

I have had the blessing of having several special needs children/adults in my life in one way or another. For that I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world for them to have allowed me to share a little part of their life. When they give you the gift of their love and compassion, it truly is the gift that keeps on giving and what’s more beautiful than that?

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron