They say hard work pays off and sometimes it pays off in spades. Last week I got the incredible news that the Tampa Bay Lightning hockey team has chosen me and the Bring Smiles to Seniors program as one of their community hero’s for the 2018 – 2019 season.

The Lightning Community Hero program was created in 2011 by Jeff Vinik as the signature philanthropic program of the Lightning Foundation. Since October of 2011, at every home regular season and post-season game, they recognize one grassroots Hero whose noble efforts make a positive impact of others by awarding them with a Lightning Community Hero award.

Honorees’ rich history of volunteerism and good works are celebrated via an in-game video that illustrates how the Hero is using his or her life to help others less fortunate, and inspires their fans to also use their lives to help make a difference in the greater Tampa Bay community. The Hero is also presented with a $50,000 grant on their behalf to benefit the charities of his or her choice.

At the October 30th home game against the New Jersey Devils I will be recognized and I am so proud that I will be surrounded by my amazing volunteers Linda Soto, Renee Eisman, Becky Johnson, Diane Hill and Liane Young who are all just as much a part of this award as I am. That night we will be celebrating every card artist, decorator, school student, principal, civic group, volunteer and donor that have helped us deliver over 27,000 cards just this year alone.

From our very first senior community (my grandmother’s) to the numerous communities we now serve in all 50 states, along with the over 300 deliveries we have made this year, together we have turned this little dream into a big reality. Not only will our seniors benefit from all our efforts, the grant that I will receive will also benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma society in honor of my dad and his recent diagnosis. It will also benefit ALS in honor of a member of Bonnie’s family, the person who nominated me for the award. A portion of the grant will also go to A.F.I.R.E of Pasco County, a day program for developmentally challenged adults that has been so good to us in giving us ideas for fundraising and letting us be a part of their events such as the “Ducktona 500” rubber duck races every year.

I have always believed that when you do good things, good things come back to you. Seeing seniors smile makes all the hard work worth it. With this award I celebrate each and every one of you for being part of the journey and look forward to sharing the video of the award ceremony with you after October 30th. If you happen to be at the October 30th game, look out for us, we promise to wave back.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

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In honor of my sister-in-law and niece coming to visit today from South Carolina, I wanted to re-share a post from earlier this year!

Since we just celebrated Mother’s Day, I wanted to write about a person who has been in my life for over eighteen years that I have always looked up to in regards to how she lives her life as a mother. A person who shows a strength and resolve while facing her responsibilities that takes extra effort beyond the normal mothering requirements. A woman that meets those responsibilities head on, yet does them in a way that creates a special bond between her and her daughter that some Mother’s only wish they had.

When you go through life as an expectant mother, there is all the excitement that comes along with the process as you prepare for the day you will get to meet your child for the first time. As much as you think you are prepared for that moment, nothing can prepare you for the birth of a Downs Syndrome child and all the painstaking moments that follow with surgeries and extra care that the child will require. There are many ways that people can deal with this situation and how they do so ultimately defines the kind of parent that they are and will become.

If you have never had the wonderful opportunity of meeting a Downs Syndrome child, you are missing out. They truly are the gift that keeps on giving as they are filled with love and compassion that is unmeasurable. However, caring for them also requires a skill that no one can prepare you for and no textbook can teach you. But a mother’s love is something that should never be underestimated, as its power knows no limits. Such is the case with my sister-in-law Debbie.

Every time Debbie, Courtney and I are together I leave them with a new found respect and admiration for how they have carved out a life for themselves that is unique and their own. Courtney is now 22 and Debbie has this unique way of forging a balance between being a mother and a friend that has created one of the most beautiful relationships that I have ever seen. They lunch together, get their nails done together, go to movies together and do all the mother daughter things that those duos do. Debbie has learned the art of caring for a Downs Syndrome child and now adult. She has faced the reality that it is no longer your life, it is our life with dignity and admiration. Yet, when the time is necessary to draw the line between friend and mother, it is done with a mixture of firmness and compassion that really is a beautiful thing to watch.

In a world where we hear about neglect and abuse almost daily on the evening news, I am fortunate to have a mother like Debbie in my life that personifies what being a mother is all about. I am especially honored to be a part of a family where I get to experience that extra special love that is required to care for a child with Down’s Syndrome. In a future post I will tell you about Courtney and you will understand why she is the gift that keeps on giving. For today, I want to honor Debbie who shows us every day that A Mother’s Special Love is a beautiful thing.

Have a great weekend and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

Have you ever had those moments in life where you want something so bad it hurts? No is not a option and every time you hear it you plan and plot around it to attempt to get to yes in any way possible. Yet, despite all those efforts, we never really take the opportunity to put our request out in the universe, commit to it and in a fleeting moment our desire just passes us by.

My entire life I have never been a person to accept no. If what I want is beneficial and good, I try and come up with every way possible to get the answer to a yes, which often takes an emotional and physical toll. It was only later in life that I learned that I did not have to do it on my own. I learned that there was a whole big universe out there just waiting to help me. Unfortunately, I was not taking the opportunity to tap into the universe and ask for assistance. Once I did, it was only then that I learned that you can not do it all on your own. Sometimes you just need the help.

There is a famous quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe that says “At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you.” I have mentioned this quote before and mention it again for a reason. I believe that for something to truly come to pass you have to put it out in the universe and then give it every effort you have to see it through. I also believe we have to be careful of the types of things that we put out there. Putting bad thoughts into the universe can often result in unintended consequences. However, focusing on good and positive thoughts guides the universe to help meet your ask.

Most of us believe that there is a higher power that guides what we do. For many people this higher power takes different forms and it is what is right with your own soul that should guide you. How we live our life and what we believe is only our concern, because at the end of the day no one is more responsible for us than ourselves. When we live a good life, put good things out in the universe, be true to ourselves and others, good things come back to us. They come back to us as long as we are willing to put the effort and work into making them happen. We can’t simply say to the universe that this is what we want and then just sit back and wait for the universe to deliver.

In this program, my work and my life over all, I set my sights on what I want to accomplish. When I meet a barrier, I find another way around it. I would say nine times out of ten, as I maneuver through the maze of decisions, the end result is positive. However, to get there requires flexibility, perseverance and a strong belief in yourself.

Today, think about what you desire most. Truly commit to it, ask the universe for assistance and know that the first no does not always have to be the final no in your quest for a positive result.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

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In the past two and a half years, I have had the opportunity to be in more nursing homes, assisted living facilities and senior centers than I ever thought I would be in during my life time. I experienced it first hand with my grandmother and then through the Bring Smiles program got to see what others see through the eyes of patients, nurses, administrators and the myriad of people that take care of those that need assistance. This got me to thinking about the caregivers.

When someone is diagnosed with an illness our focus tends to be on that person and what they are dealing with. We worry, pray, hope and direct our attention to the person with the illness in hopes that in some way we can make them better. So much focus goes on the individual that the person often lost in the fray is the caregiver. In reality, sometimes the stress and burden that is placed on the caregiver can be as great as the person dealing with the disease themselves.

When my grandmother was in her early stages of dementia, my mother was determined to take care of her at home. However, as the disease progressed and grandma became combative and a danger to herself and others, the doctor finally made the decision for my mom that helping my grandmother was beyond her limitations. She would sleep at the foot of my grandmother’s bed to ensure that she didn’t get up during the night and leave the house. My mom would clean my grandmother’s room after she went on one of her rampages tearing the room apart. Likewise, my Aunt did the same for my grandmother’s son who also had dementia, while he dug up the front yard for no reason at all or threw things at the television. They did what they felt they had to do. They were caregivers.

How many times in the course of asking about how someone with the illness is doing do we actually stop and ask the caregiver how they are doing? The stress and burden that is placed on their own lives is enormous, while they go without complaining because they are caring for the ones they love. Not only do they have to deal with the emotional stress of the situation, they often have to deal with financial and health burdens of their own as they become responsible for two people’s lives rather than just theirs.

I was determined through this situation with my dad to always ask how they were doing, not just him. I realize that it is not just my dad dealing with the disease, but my mom as well. It is why it is incredibly important to make sure that we as a loving family do what we can do to make the caregivers lives a little more stress free. We have to discover our own ways of giving back, supporting and loving both the person with the disease and the caregiver who devotes their life to taking care of those that we love.

Today my heart goes out to every person that has ever been a caregiver for someone in need. You are a special breed. When the times are tough you don’t run you stay. In those moments when you feel you have no strength left, you persevere and go on. You allow your issues to take a back seat while you focus on the person you love. We all have a responsibility to give that love right back to you. Know that we see what you do. We are thankful for what you do. We love you for what you do.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

One of the most difficult in things in life are those things that we have absolutely no control over. Especially for people (like me) who like to feel they are always in control of every situation. Yet once in a while life throws us a curve ball and we have to step back and realize that we are only human and as such we have human limitations. This is especially true when a family member is diagnosed with cancer.

We go through life hearing all about cancer. Given that cancer knows no boundaries, it can hit just about anywhere. When it does we try and provide love, support, encouragement and compassion for those that may be affected. However, I believe at the end of the day nothing can prepare us for the impact on us when it shows up right at our own doorstep and affects a family member directly. It is then that we feel the most helpless of all, at a time when we want to be in control most of all.

I wish everyone who faced this terrible disease had the attitude, drive and demeanor dealing with the disease that my dad has. Maybe it is that my mom, brother and I are doing all the worrying for him and he doesn’t feel that he has to. Or maybe he is just that kind of guy that takes life as it comes and believes at the end of the day that all will be as it should.

One of the things that has astounded me the most as we have gone on this short journey so far is the cost associated with cancer. With the cost of medicine being $11,000 a month, numerous hospital visits for blood transfusions, doctor visits, lab tests and everything else – one has to wonder if the reason we dont have a cure is because of the profitability that the disease itself brings. I would like to think otherwise, but one has to wonder.

One thing that I am learning most of all through this process is patience. I am reminded that I am human and I can’t control everything. At the same time the one thing I know is that I am filled with even more love and compassion than I ever knew that I had. I now know that this is one thing that I have to leave to a higher power and that I do humbly. At the end of the day things will be as they should be.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

Have you ever been out and about and had that moment where someone held the door open for you, let you go first in line or let you pull out in front of them on the highway? Even better, you are sitting in line at the local coffee shop and you get to the window and are told that someone in front of you paid for your order. It tends to release a set of endorphins that make us smile and often gives us a good feeling for the rest of the day. Likewise, when we do something special like that for someone else that same wonderful feeling seems to come over us.

When you think about it, not one of those things I mentioned hardly costs anything, yet the value the act brings is priceless. Finding an opportunity in the day to bring a little kindness to someone else doesn’t take a lot of effort, but the dividends it pays to our psyche and soul are something that money could never buy.

Throughout the course of this program I have encountered some of the kindest people on the planet. People who share their talent and creativity freely. People who have given of their time and resources to help seniors smile. People who have taken the time to write us beautiful notes and words of encouragement. Finally, people who know and practice kindness as an integral part of their every day living. We have seen humanity at its finest and that has made us smile.

I believe that we are all born with the kindness gene. The ability to grow and nurture it lies totally within our hands. Sometimes it is our life experiences that drive us to be a more kinder person. Often it is how we are raised and taught that makes us kinder people. Alternatively, some people reject kindness because of the bitterness caused by unfortunate life experiences. Others can’t seem to shake the selfish gene to learn to put others first.

When you encounter people who live their life in kindness it is very easy to spot and they tend to put off a light that makes them someone that you just want to be around. Heaven knows that the world could use a little more kindness these days. As you are out and about during your day today, look for that opportunity to share a little of your kindness with someone. Who knows, they just might show a little kindness right back.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

I have been thinking about grandma a lot lately and wanted to repost this one that always makes me smile.

Bring Smiles to Seniors was started because of my grandmother and it will live on in her memory.  Because it was started in the last year of her life, I often wondered if she ever really knew that I had done it. I told her about it and described it to her, but the mute reaction that she had to my description left me wondering if she truly knew.

On one of my visits to her, my friend Linda who has been with the program from the beginning accompanied me on my visit to her senior community in Okeechobee. We had decided that we would do a card delivery on this visit and hand out cards to the residents there. However, when we arrived and found my grandmother bright and alert that day, we came up with a much different plan that turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made.

Usually, when we have an opportunity to go into communities, we hand deliver the cards to the residents one by one.  We have a little chat with them and tell them to have a wonderful day and we get to see the smiles on their faces when they open their card that has come from a complete stranger.  Sometimes they can’t see well enough to read the card and we read it to them out loud and watch the brightness that comes across their face. On this visit, we got the idea to have grandma do the deliveries herself. So, we loaded her up with cards in her wheelchair, pushed her through the aisles in the community and began the most amazing journey with her.

As you can tell by now, helping people was at the very core of her being. Even in the late stage of her life that gene never left her. The smile on her face as she handed the cards to the residents gave me the answer that I was looking for.  She knew what we were doing.  However, not only did she know, she was a part of it.  She laughed, she smiled and you could tell by the look on her face that she was in her element as she handed each resident their card.

It is so important when dealing with dementia/Alzheimer’s patients not to forget that they are still people. Treat them like they understand and give them a reason to be present. This moment was not only heartwarming and fulfilling for us, it gave her an hour of normalcy where in that point in time she was who she always was when she was at her best. From Grandma’s smile with the bag of cards in her lap at the beginning of the delivery to the high five with Linda when the delivery was finished, every moment was filled with a sense of accomplishment.

In every senior community we have visited, we have had special moments that will stay with us a lifetime. However, this visit will always be dearest because it was then that I knew that she was aware of the program and what we were doing. I believe in all my heart that she understood and at that very moment she infused Bring Smiles to Seniors with the lifeblood that will keep it going for many years to come.

If you encounter a person with dementia or Alzheimer’s this week give them a hug and let them know they are loved. Treat them as if they are still there. It will give both they and you a reason to smile.

Have a great weekend and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Most of the time our days are non stop. We take care of family, pets, work, friendships and just about anything else that comes our way. It’s part of who we are and what we do. We often spend so much time making sure that everyone else is taken care of that we often forget the most important person of all, ourselves.

Taking care of everyone else to the point where we neglect ourselves is not only detrimental to our psyche it can also be detrimental to our health. We certainly do what we have to do to make sure that things get done and tasks are accomplished. However, somewhere in that schedule it is incredibly important to ensure that we are taking time out for ourselves. Time to rejuvenate, relax and recharge. Now that may sound selfish to some, but in reality it is healthy and necessary for our spiritual and physical well being.

The other night I was watching television and felt the need for a little alone time. I have a pool right outside my living room door that doesn’t get used as much as it should. I turned on some instrumental music, lit the tiki torches around the pool, jumped in and just became one with myself. As I floated on the water I could feel the stresses of the day, all the tasks that I still had to accomplish and the desire to be doing something else float away. That half hour belonged to no one else but me and I felt wonderful.

Those are the kind of moments that we need to steal for ourselves. It can also be a hobby, a craft, shopping or something else that you really enjoy. Just you and the moment where you have the opportunity to build that inner strength and be reminded that you have the ability to take care of yourself in a world where you take care of so many others. Sometimes just carving out a few minutes or a half hour for you is just the ticket.

This may sound easy, but I know as much as anyone that it is hard to do. During that me time many things start calling to you and it is important to block them out and stay focused in the moment. No one can force us to take care of ourselves. Only we can ensure that we are taking steps to be emotionally and physically healthy. If you live by a calendar, block out time on your calendar and call it “me time”. When you wake up in the morning consider your day and decide where you can squeeze a couple minutes in the day just for you. No one deserves it more than you.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Everyone who has every struggled with a little OCD or the need to be perfect in everything they do is going to relate to this post. Me most of all!

Growing up I always felt like I had to be the best at everything. Good grades only caused me to strive for better grades. Awards only caused me to work for more awards. Being second was never good enough as first was the only option. As I have grown, some of that stays with me to a degree, but I have learned to let some of those self requirements (ok maybe a little bit) go. What is it inside of us that drives us to be like that?

When you look at people in general you see all types of personalities. There are those that are completely satisfied with the status quo and have no desire to rise above the fray. There is nothing wrong with that. Then, there are those, the “Type A’s”, that need to be in control and have to spend every waking minute making sure that everything is perfect. There is nothing wrong with that. There are others at the other end of the spectrum that just don’t care at all and take each day as it comes. They believe that whatever happens, happens. There is nothing wrong with that.

We all choose to live our lives in a way that fits us. When we have behavior that is being detrimental to our well being, we hopefully make adjustments to get ourselves back on course to alleviate some of the pressure that we are placing on ourselves. Failing to do so often results in some unfavorable consequences in terms of our mental or physical health.

It is important to recognize that no one way is the correct way. As long as we are managing the way that fits us and our personalities and making those adjustments that keep our life healthy and balanced, while being true to who we are, then that is all we can ask of ourselves. Do I wish I could relax more and strive less? Sometimes I do. However, I also know without that drive I would not be where I am or have what I have today. What I need to focus on is that there is a need sometimes to just stop, relax, let it all go and take a mental and physical break. That is what I struggle with most.

At the end of the day we all want to do our best. It is doing our best that gives us comfort that we are on the right path with our lives. Finding the right balance as we strive for that best is incredibly important to our well being.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

One of the beautiful things about our world is that we are all very different and each bring a unique perspective and outlook on life. Unfortunately, we have become a society where it isn’t OK to be different and we are often attacked for our beliefs or the way we choose to live our lives. It happens in every community across the country and it doesn’t say a lot for how we have evolved.

My brother and I were brought up to respect all people. Race, gender, religion, sex or any other category were blind to us as we were to look at each human being for who they were. We were taught that every person has equal value and that our beliefs were just that, ours and should never be forced onto someone else. We knew to do right by people, be good to people, let people live their lives and accept people for who they were.

Our world today has become a much different place. We aren’t allowed to express our views without being attacked. We aren’t allowed to live our own lives without judgement from others. We are constantly asked to conform to what others want us to be, rather than just allowing us to be who we are. The stress that puts on us as individuals, especially those who have a great need to be a part of the mass, is incredible and often leads to unfortunate consequences.

My philosophy has always been, who cares! As long as you aren’t physically or emotionally hurting someone, how you live your life is just that. I never understood peoples’ need to attempt to force others to their way of thinking. I always try to hear both sides, whether I agree with them or not. My guess is, if we spent less time focusing on what others are doing and spent more time getting right with our own lives, there would be a lot less time for intolerance to develop.

Several years ago I wrote a post on my personal Facebook page that I thought was appropriate to this topic and I wanted to share it with you. This is not a political statement, it is a life statement and just my mantra that I try and live by each and every day.

I don’t accept labels placed on people, we are human beings.

I don’t buy into rhetoric, I believe in facts.

I don’t hate those that hate, I wish for them a better life.

I don’t love differently, I love with my heart.

I don’t hurt differently, I feel the same pain.

I don’t choose to be afraid, I choose to live.

I don’t live differently, I live to make another day.

I don’t hate being different, I embrace it.

I don’t fear life, I live it.

We are often too quick to make judgement when we don’t even know the person that we are judging. Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if we all just got along? Children are not born being intolerant, they learn it. Adults aren’t forced to be intolerant, they choose to remain that way. My hope is for a better world where everyone is accepted and celebrated for who they are and I have to believe it can happen. I do believe it can happen if we all just try a little harder.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron