Dealing with my mom and dad’s medical insurance after my dad’s recent cancer diagnosis is anything but fun. The paperwork, phone calls, deciphering of medical bills and everything that comes with those chores has turned out to be quite a task. I am somewhat familiar with the medical industry and there are times I want to pull my hair out. I can’t even imagine what people who know nothing about the process go through.

Recently, I had an experience where we were trying to get me added to my mother’s policy so that I could speak with representatives about their claims and insurance. First they sent the wrong papers and we were told we had to submit new ones. Then the representative asked us to email the forms directly to him, which we did and a week later they were never “received”. I spoke to another representative and she said they were not in the system and I should send them to her. Two days later they were still not in the system, but I finally hit the jackpot and got the representative of my dreams.

This representative took it upon herself to have me send in the forms directly to her, while I we were on the phone together. She got everything processed through the privacy office and ensured that our claim was paid, to ensure that I did not have to make a repeat call. She was determined to ensure that I did not leave the call until every one of my issues was fully resolved, and they were. Now that is customer service. If all representatives were like her, what a customer service world it would be.

The reason I share this story with you is this. I learned a long time ago that the service that you sometimes receive is very dependent on the demeanor that you are portraying to the service individual you happen to connect with. Understanding that there are times that you are pushed from person to person, losing composure only ensures that you are going to get as minimal service as possible. Service personnel hold the ultimate outcome in their hands, and I would have thought that people would have learned a long time ago you truly do “catch more flies with honey than vinegar”.

Having worked in the service world, I understand that they have a job to do and that dealing with the public all day long is no easy task. Not to mention they are human as well and have their own life issues to deal with. As we well know, not everyone has the composure they should, even when frustration is lacking. That is the perfect opportunity for those of us who are able to retain our composure to take advantage of those who don’t.

Today my hat goes off to D. at an insurance company call center in Georgia. You restored my faith in customer service and your organization. I can’t thank you enough for what you did. My hope is that every senior in our program and everywhere gets someone like you on the phone when they have issues to deal with. It will be their lucky day!

Have a great weekend and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

We often allow ourselves to be burdened by our past, which in many cases keeps us from experiencing our future. I have written before about using the past as a learning tool for navigating our future world, while at the same time avoiding being mired in it so much that it keeps us from living a full and satisfying life.

Our past is who we were. It is full of experiences that molded and shaped our very being. At the same time it provided us experiences to create a future roadmap that would help us avoid repeating the mistakes that we made. It serves a purpose for helping us live our life, yet as this image says, it really doesn’t have anything new to say. If we spend all our time living in the past and not just accessing it for information or memories, we risk the opportunity that we are going to miss out on so much going on around us. As a result, we never get a chance to move forward.

Things that happened to us in the past can only affect our present if we let them. Trust me, the past likes to sneak up on us every chance we get. It is how we deal with that knock on the door that ultimately determines the effect that it can have. Acknowledge it for what it is, understand that it no longer has power over us and let it go. Sounds simple, but I of all people know that it is not. It takes work and dedication, but the work is worth it.

We get one lifetime and one opportunity to make it the best that it can be. We owe it to ourselves to use everything in our power to make it a life that nurtures our soul, makes us smile and one that causes our heart to sing. We can’t do that if we spend it living in the past and letting it control our future. Just by the very nature of your participation in this program you have shown the goodness that is within. Use that goodness for yourself as well as no one deserves it more.

All of our pasts are going to come back to haunt us at one time or another. But always remember that there is a big, bright, beautiful today right in front of you and and even brighter tomorrow waiting for you. That is where we should place our focus. Truly, when the past calls, let it go to voicemail. Believe me it has nothing new to say.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Have you ever found yourself saying “I would really love to do that”, “I have always wanted to do that”, or “I wish I could do that”, yet never actually doing it? When you have said that, have you ever sat down and had a conversation with yourself and evaluated the reasons why you haven’t? It is understandable that there are sometimes limitations that are out of our control such as finances, health or unexpected occurrences. However, I would venture to say that a majority of the time doing what we want to do is actually possible, but we lack the motivation to make it happen.

Early on in life I decided that international travel was my passion. I wanted to see new places, explore new cultures, learn about new countries and see how the world came together as a whole. I knew for that to happen that I was going to have to make sacrifices in other areas to ensure that I had the means to be able to accomplish what I so desperately wanted to do. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I now have friends all over the world that have become a part of my core friend circle. Through that experience I learned that nothing is impossible, no is not an alternative and if you truly want something, then you make the modifications and altercations to your current situation to achieve your objective.

Evaluating what you really want to do involves give and take. You have to decide what is most important to you and then make the proper adjustments to get on track for the one thing that you truly desire most. Do you want to take that trip to Disney World, or is that daily $5 cup of coffee at the specialty coffee shop more important? Do you want to see somewhere you have always desired to go or are those three dresses or suits in the closet with the tags still hanging on them more meaningful? While it would be nice to have it all, we simply can’t. It just becomes a matter of focusing on that which is going to nurture our soul more.

I have so many memories of times that I have spent with friends all over the world during my life. When we are together, we still talk about them all these years later. We laugh, we cry, we share and we love. Clothes hanging in my closet bring me no special joy. I will buy new clothes and wear those same clothes for years before I go on a spree to replace them. I decided my priorities early on and chose what I was going to enjoy more. That is where I focused my resources.

Yesterday, I wrote that we can do anything we want to do if we put our mind to it. However, being successful requires commitment. Not only commitment to the want, but commitment and belief in yourself that you can make it happen. We have a choice. We can reach the end of our lives saying, “I wish I had”, or we can reach it saying, “I’m glad I did.” At the end of the day, the decision is totally ours.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

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I wrote to you about a week ago regarding the fact that my brother and I were working together to remodel my parents bathroom and convert their tub to a shower to make it easier for our dad as he deals with his Lymphoma. I am an avid watched of HGTV and I have to admit, I went into the project knowing that we were undertaking a major task. My brother has worked in the construction area for years, but I have always been the bookworm. My old friend self doubt raised its ugly head many times during the project.

When you work on a project that involves a house that was built in 1965 there are many unexpected events that you encounter. You pick up pipes and they crumble. You remove tile and there are holes in the walls. You discover work that never would pass code today. Most of all you take on a daunting task that makes you question why you ever started it in the first place.

The more we got into the project the more surprised I was at what I was actually able to do. With my brothers guiding hand, I laid tile, grouted walls, put up durarock, ripped out bathtubs, toilets, vanities and so much more. Every task brought on a little more confidence for the next and I found myself reliving every Property Brothers episode that I had ever watched.

I talk a lot about what people coming together for a common purpose can accomplish. When there is so much love involved in the project that is taking place, no obstacle that is thrown in your way is unachievable. Even my brother having to deal with my OCD and adding additional tasks to the project didn’t get in the way. His calm demeanor was just the right match for my ability to get easily frustrated. I learned throughout the project to say to myself over and over that “I can do this, I can do this.” In the end I did.

One of our worst enemies is self doubt. Telling ourselves that we can’t do something before we even try. When in reality, if we truly commit and believe in our abilities there really is nothing that we can’t accomplish. When we were finished, after many long nights, I stood in the doorway of that bathroom and was amazed at what we had accomplished together. You could feel the love in every tile, fixture and rock. Our 50+ year relationship as brothers all culminated in this one moment as we came together for that common purpose. I also learned that it wasn’t just a bathroom, it was a moment in our lives that was meant to be that reminded us of the love our family shares.

Have a great day, conquer any self doubt you may have and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Coming off working with my brother to convert my parents bath into a shower, this seemed like an appropriate re-post. She was definitely guiding our hands this week. I will be back to regular new posts next week. Thank you all for your patience.

They say, “If you build it, they will come”.  Such is the case with the First United Methodist Church in Okeechobee, Florida.   My grandmother was a member of the First United Methodist Church since she moved to Okeechobee in the 1940’s from Miami. My mom and dad were married there and my brother and I were baptized and attended church there until we graduated and moved away.  Grandma always made sure we were at Wednesday evening service, Sunday morning Sunday School and Sunday morning/evening services.  We were also a part of the church youth group.   The church basically had no social facilities and they made the decision to add an extension on to the existing building that would become the social hall where church gatherings would take place.

The church called on people with expertise in carpentry, electrical and construction to help erect this new wing. Can you guess who was the first one to raise her hand?   Every day after work and on Saturday’s (my grandmother was a strict believer that you didn’t work on Sunday), my grandmother was there. She had a tool belt around her waist, a hammer in her hand and she was climbing the ladders with all the men who were working on the building. When they were tired at night and ready to quit for the day she would urge them to stay a little longer. When they were gone, you could go down to the building and find her there alone finishing up any last-minute tasks or cleaning up from the day’s work, using up her last bit of energy. She would then get up in the morning, go to her job managing the warehouse and was right back out there again in the evening.

Some women watched in awe and others were appalled that she would insert herself in “mans’ work”, but she didn’t care. Grandma never lived her life caring what others thought, she lived it knowing that she was secure in who she was and in her faith.   The hall still stands today as a living testament to her and others who made it a reality.

Two years ago we used the hall for the repass after her funeral service.  As I sat there having my meal I could still feel her presence and looked around in awe at what she had been a part of.   Sometimes people try to put us in boxes where they think we should be. However, if we open those boxes and allow our true selves to come out, the things that we are able to accomplish in the world are amazing. Bring Smiles to Seniors was only possible because of the confidence my grandmother instilled in me early on in my life. It was way outside my comfort zone but the need was not something I could ignore.

The next time you are facing a challenge, think about Grandma Lola Mae on the ladder with her hammer. Dig deep and just maybe you will find the inner strength to accomplish what you thought was impossible.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Throughout the life of the Bring Smiles to Seniors Program I have always said that one of the goals of this program is to ensure that those that “paved the way for us” are remembered and reminded that they are loved and cared about. Today I wanted to share with you exactly what I mean by that.

History has shown us many generations over the years. Each one born into this world going through their lives hoping to leave the world a little better place than they found it for future generations. Many people have children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. They go through life hoping that they can leave the world in a little better shape than they found it for their families. Some generations do a great job, some not so great. However, in most cases the people in each generation worked in many ways to pave the way for the future that we all enjoy.

Some people worked multiple jobs so that their families could eat. Some served in the armed forces to protect our freedom. Some created cures for debilitating diseases and others made discoveries that changed the very way we live. Mother’s took care of homes and children, sometimes while working themselves. Fathers took care of their families and provided so that their family could have a good life. The list is never ending.

In each generation laws are passed, advancements are made and technology is developed, all done by the generation before us that paved the way for our lives to be a little better. When those individuals become the aging generation, it becomes our responsibility to be the ones that respect and remember the sacrifices they made so that when their time comes, it comes knowing that they are cared for, loved and remembered. They leave knowing that they are appreciated for the contributions they made and that they have been acknowledged for the love they gave.

Posthumous love serves no purpose. It is important to show the love while they are still here and that is why we do what we do. Every card that is delivered with yours or a child’s message inside is a reminder that we appreciate them. It is our way of showing that we care and that as long as we can keep going they will be reminded that we appreciate the fact that they paved the way for us.

Take a moment and remind that special someone that paved the way for you today. Both they and you will benefit from that acknowledgement and that in itself will be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

Sometimes it is those unexpected moments in life that bring you opportunities that you might otherwise not have been able to experience. Moments that remind you of times gone by and at the same time bring new experiences that cement relationships that you already knew you had.

This weekend my brother and I went to my parents house to work on converting their bathtub to a shower. With my dad’s lymphoma it was getting more and more difficult to get in and out of the bathtub and the last thing we need is a fall at this point. My brother is quite handy with building and I’m a good apprentice, so together we make a pretty good team.

We are in day two of the work and I have to say as arduous, tiring…no exhausting the task is, getting to spend quality time with my brother as we come together for a common purpose has has outweighed any tiredness that may have set in. We got all the fighting out of the way growing up, so we are in a place where we get to spend our later years enjoying each other’s company and doing things together that are meaningful.

When we were together earlier today, I looked at him and asked how we got here. It seems yesterday we were boys growing up in this house and now here we are in our 50’s ensuring that our parents needs are being met. It is the circle of life that we all have to go through if we are fortunate and how we spend those years really sets the stage for what kind of life we ultimately have.

Last night I lay my head on my pillow and smiled. I smiled knowing that what we will ultimately accomplish together will be something that not only our parents need, but something that they will enjoy. However, most of all we will have created a memory that we will be able to share for years to come. Every time we visit our parents and step in that shower, we will will once again be filled with a sense of pride for what we were able to do together.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

When I woke up this morning, yes I wake up early, I started thinking about relationships. Not particularly familial or extended family relationships, but those that you come to know through your extra-curricular or outside activities. For me I especially think about those relationships that I have developed through the course of this program.

I have the pleasure of hearing from people from all over and outside the country regularly. Some I have been in contact with since almost the beginning. A few I have met and some I have only conversed with through email or other social medial channels. I have come to learn about your reasons for participating, issues that drive you to devote your time to your art and craft and things that just pop up in your life from time to time. We have shared life events, sickness, heartache, passing of family and many other things that we encounter throughout our lives. These interactions were an unintended happening in this program and one that has become very special to me.

We have over 17,000 followers on Facebook and this blog. I have met a handful of you personally and yet I feel every day I wake up to a community of people that have become my second family. We have created a place where I really belong, feel appreciated and know that together we are going to do something special before the week is over. For those that I have actually met in person, those meetings are incredible. It is never like I am meeting strangers for the first time. It is more like I am meeting old friends and family whom I just haven’t seen for a while.

Often when we receive packages of cards you have little notes, words of encouragement, pictures, letters letting me know how you are doing or other items enclosed with your cards. You don’t know how special those are to my soul. It is also why I try and write a personal note on every receipt that you receive or a separate card welcoming you to the Bring Smiles family.

The world is a little crazy right now and we have worked hard to create a community that is a safe place, devoid of politics and issues that tend to divide rather than bring us together. We all do what we do because we have a common purpose to make the world a little better, in our case “one card, one smile at a time”. We strive to teach children the importance of remembering those that paved the way for us. We provide individuals a way to give back when they might otherwise not have the means. We lift each other up through comments on card postings and recognize the talent and beauty of the craft that our card artists and decorators possess. We have created a community for good that strives every day to make a small dent in a very large need.

Life brings us all kinds of relationships. Some good, some bad. Some healthy, some not so. When it brings us the kind of mutually beneficial relationships that we have in this program, we have to recognize that it is a gift that we must always cherish, nurture and celebrate. I give thanks for each and every one of you daily. Together, in our little world, we are making a difference in the broader world and for that you should be so proud. I know I am so very proud of all of you.

Have a great weekend and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Last evening I found myself buried in a sea of paper trying to help my mom and dad with all the insurance paperwork that we have to deal with as a result of my dad’s recent diagnosis of Lymphoma and his beginning chemotherapy. I have worked in the prescription drug benefit industry for over 30 years and even I have to admit there were times that I wanted to cry.

No matter how many times you check and double check, the insurance company always seems to find something that you missed. They reject one paper because you are missing one word. They reject another paper because they “need more information”. You can submit every paper you can get from the doctors office and inevitably you still miss “something that is needed”.

I was trying to match up claims to submissions, determine what was missing on explanation of benefits and even talk to the insurance company directly. Imagine what it is like to sit on hold for half an hour, finally get a person on the phone, have a copy of the authorization in your hand that was faxed in to allow you to speak to the company on your parents behalf and be told, “well we have the form but it hasn’t been processed by the privacy office yet” and that will take one to two weeks.

I understand privacy, HIPAA regulations, need for confidentiality and patient protection. I have lived that in my work for 30 years. However, there comes a point where it becomes absurd. You follow every rule, sign every paper, do all the things you have been told to do by the last ten people you have talked to and you still can’t get an answer. All of this and I grew up in the health care world. How do people that don’t have the knowledge I do accomplish all this? My guess is in most instances they get frustrated and just give up, which may be the goal of the company in the first place. Thank goodness I have an awesome oncology office and hospital system that cares enough to assist me through.

OK, now that I have that out of the way the real reason for my post is this. Yesterday, my mom said to me that she really appreciated all the help I was giving them. While it was certainly nice to be appreciated, I asked myself, “isn’t that what I am supposed to do?” There were many years that you put food in my stomach, clothes on my back and stayed awake with me the nights I was sick. The times you were there in an instant because I needed you, gave me money when I didn’t have any and let me raid your pantry when I was out of food and hungry. All my life you have given me unconditional love, supported me in my endeavors, sat in the rain during the games, listened to my speeches over and over.

While we may grow up, start our own lives and have our own families, we have a responsibility never to forget. It is why I started this program. To always remember those that paved the way for us. To continue to return the favor for so much that we were given. To show love and compassion for those that helped us get where we are in our lives today. Mom, I love that you appreciate me for the help that I give you. In my mind, it’s my job and a job that I will happily and willfully do every day I am able.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron