I was traveling throughout several states last week and had the opportunity to interact with a lot of different people in the service industry. This involved hotels, cars, restaurants, museums and all kinds of places. One thing that really stood out to me is that most service people are generally, inherently nice as long as you are nice to them. The good service, warm conversation and often free things we got by just being ourselves and being pleasant make you wonder just what other kind of people service personnel are dealing with throughout their day.

Having been on the other side of the table as a waiter earlier in my life, I can certainly relate. Anyone who has ever dealt with the public in that way knows that it can be hit or miss. Sometimes, no matter how nice or accommodating you are, it often doesn’t get reciprocated from the patron.  Often, people in the service industry are treated as servants rather than equals and often bear the brunt of the blame fo their company’s inability to deliver. They are after all on the front line.

It has been a very rare occurrence that I am not able to turn a service person’s attitude around simply by being kind, asking them about themselves and treating them as they should be treated. The overwhelming positive response that I get from being kind leads me to wonder exactly what the rest of their day has been like, when being kind is recognized as being out of the norm. However, with our technological devices in tow the art of conversation is becoming more rare and when service people encounter it, I would imagine it is a welcome change.

Most people assume that people in the service industry are making a lot of money. When I was a waiter I was paid $2.01 an hour and all the rest of my income relied on tips, which also require me to give good service.  That was 30 years ago and that $2.01 hasn’t gone up much in most states. While service individuals have a responsibility to provide good service for that tip, we also have a responsibility to be good patrons. A good server waiting on a good patron can wind up a gold winning combination in most situations.

When you encounter service people throughout your day, give them a smile and say hello. I think you may be pleasantly surprised by the response you receive!

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Our down time over the last week was much needed and I appreciate your patience with my previous posts during that time. It is really good to be back with you all as I really missed my daily interactions with you.

While the last week was nice to be away, we unfortunately got some news that my father has a rare type of lymphoma and will soon start chemotherapy. This came as quite a shock as he had no symptoms and it simply appeared on a blood test. Going through this experience, got me to thinking.

Every day that we wake up healthy, without a cold or an ailment, we go through our day and often take for granted the fact that we have our health. It seems to be when something goes wrong, or we wind up sick that we realize how lucky we are to enjoy good health and appreciate the gift that it is. Sometimes it takes an unfortunate event to remind us of that, when in actuality we should recognize and give thanks for our health each and every day.

We read about diseases and disabilities constantly. Many of us know people suffering from a number of things. Sometimes we are so bombarded with information that it all winds up being just white noise…at least until it hits close to home. When it finds its way into your closest circle, be it friend or family member, all of the sudden it becomes more real. There is no book to tell us how to deal or cope, we just take it one day at a time.

My father will be fine in the end. He is one of the kindest, most generous people in the world with the most amazing outlook on life. He says he isn’t worried and if he can feel that way so can I. At the same time, I would like for you to keep him in your thoughts and prayers as we go through this ordeal together. I write to share it with you as we go through this experience as a family, I am sure it will prompt more writings on this particular subject.

This morning, if you woke up with no ailments and your health is good, give thanks for that. Never take it for granted and know that nothing is guaranteed. That is why we must appreciate and be thankful for our health. If you are dealing with a disease or ailment, know that there are people out there that care and we send our thoughts and prayers to you for a speedy recovery.

Have a healthy day and remember to be the reason someone smiles!

Ron

Yesterday, I was sitting at my computer and I got an unexpected visit from my cat Moochie. He just came and sat next me, started rubbing up against my hand, purring and sharing his kitty love that doesn’t always come through. It got me thinking about the importance that pets play in our lives.

Now we all know that some people just aren’t animal people and that is okay. I was one of those people. We had a couple animals when I was growing up that had pretty tragic deaths and I swore that I would never have an animal again as long as I lived. Nor would I allow myself to get close to one. That was until 14 years ago when we were asked to pet sit for one of our friends cats while she was away and my heart began to melt.

After she returned and we had to give Tuxedo up and we decide to take the plunge and adopted Moochie from the local shelter. He was 9 months old, had been adopted out twice and came to us with the name of Maverick, which just didn’t fit. He was mooching for food all the time and one day the name Moochie stuck. We lived in NJ at the time and Sopranos was big so we made his formal name Maverick the Mooch, Mafia Kitty.

One of the amazing things about animals is the life lessons they can teach us, especially about unconditional love. Feed them, walk them and take care of them and you have a friend for life. They don’t ask us to be anything but ourselves. They provide comfort for us in our times of need and they bring joy to our lives in the most unexpected ways. Several years ago I was diagnosed with a tumor in my stomach (more on that another time). The night before my surgery I was laying in bed and Moochie came and laid across the whole of my back and stayed there all night, something he had never done before. He sensed something was going on and he wanted to let me know that he was there to support me. Fourteen years after adopting him he is starting to show his age and now it is our turn to return the favor.

Last week, I posted a couple of videos about programs that bring newborn kittens into nursing homes to the benefit of both the animal and the senior. On visits to senior communities we have seen the power of animal visits first hand when a seniors eyes light up and agitation ceases once they are in the presence of an animal. Some communities even have their own animals adopted by the facility that become a part of the community family. It is a beautiful thing to watch.

The lesson of unconditional love is an important one that animals teach us. From them we learn to transfer that unconditional love to our own lives, which only enriches it and makes it better. If you have an animal, give them a little extra love today and remind them of the important part they play in your life. If you don’t consider donating a can of food or money to an animal shelter striving to take care of those who have been abandoned. Those of us who have them understand they are an important part of our family and they remind us of that every day.

With that, through these pictures Moochie wishes you a good day and reminds you to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

Several years ago, for the second time in my career, I found myself cast aside by a company to which I had dedicated 12 years of my life. The first company was after 15 years. I was faced with the sad reality that no matter how hard you work, how much time in your life you give, or how much of your life you miss while being out the road serving your company, it does not matter. When your number is up at the end of the day you were still only a number.

My work ethic that I learned from my grandmother has always served me well. I was the guy that gets top annual reviews. I got repeated promotions and additional levels of responsibility that permitted me to climb the ladder faster than most. So, when I unexpectedly reached the end of the road at both those company’s, I started to question myself and what I was doing wrong. I stopped believing in myself and wondered if there was something inside me that was contributing to these long periods at a company coming to an end.

Heaven knows I did a lot of self reflection. Both times the company that I left was not the same company that I had started with. The entrepreneurial spirit that I thrived in had given way to bureaucracy and red tape as the companies grew, that was more stifling than exciting. I didn’t do well in environments where innovation and creating on the fly gave way to committees, endless meetings and delays in deliverables, as that entrepreneurial spirit dissipated. So, in a way my inability to adapt to these new situations probably contributed somewhat to my exits in a round about way. However, the company’s inability to assist me in coping with these new environments was also a major factor.

It only stands to reason that going from the top of the heap to the bottom of the pile after so many years of service starts to take a toll on you psyche and causes self reflection on your worth. You start to question your capabilities, your skills, your ability to adapt and most of all your contribution to the working world. It was a tough time. It was also a time when my partner as usual came to the rescue and gave me back this magnet that I had given them during a difficult period in their working career. That helped put it all back into perspective.

When we start to question ourselves and stop believing in who we are and what we are capable of doing, we need to dig deep and reevaluate. We are not defined by what happens to us. Neither corporate America’s decision that they no longer need us or what others think of us truly defines who we are. All we have to do is believe in ourselves and understand our own abilities.

I am in a much better place now. All companies have their faults, but I believe I am in a place that truly cares about its people and it is refreshing to be here again in what I hope to be this last work chapter in my life. I also run the Bring Smiles to Seniors program that I founded which nourishes and fulfills me in ways that corporate America never could. Most of all, I do believe in myself and all that I am. I know and remember that there is something inside me that is greater than any obstacle. That today is my wish for you as well.

Have a great weekend and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

NOTE: I will be away until July 31st. During this time my blog will be posting some of my previous posts for your enjoyment. New posts will begin again on July 31st while I take a little creative down time to recharge.

The other day I was getting my hair cut and I saw this sign on the wall. I had to snap a picture because it got me to thinking about what we encounter every day. It is rare that you can turn the news on that it isn’t filled with information that is anything but positive. You can’t pick up the paper without the headlines blaring something negative at you. It is even difficult to immerse yourself in social media for an escape without being faced with many things that you would rather not hear or see.

Being bombarded by so much causes one to wonder whether there is still good in the world and if there is why isn’t it reported. The reality is that good news doesn’t sell or get ratings, yet people will line up to be bombarded with news that is not so good. What has happened to society when good deeds are rarely noticed but bad deeds make the top of the headlines?

One of the reasons that I try and share good stories that I find is because I believe we all need to be reminded that there is good in the world. People do amazing things every day, but the unfortunate thing is you have to dig to find them. There is no good news channel that we can go to for that positive fix. A place where they do only positive stories on the amazing things that people do. This makes it even more important to ensure that we share good news when we find it.

Normal every day people are constantly working hard to make the world a better place. Ordinary people doing extraordinary things that have a profound effect on peoples lives around them. It is those people that give us hope and make us believe that there is good in the world. The good works of the day pave the way for hope of a better tomorrow and it is those good works that help us validate that good in the world exists.

It is important to believe there is good in the world because there is. It is all around us. All we need to do is open our eyes to see it. The world has all the beauty it was meant to have if only we take the time to sift through the mire to find it. The next time you see someone doing something extraordinary, stop and recognize them for it. Thank them for making the world a better place with their compassion and caring.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles.

Ron

When I was a kid, I was one of the funniest people around. I remember riding down the road and having the whole car in stitches to the point where everyone couldn’t even breathe. I played tricks on my granny that would have her laughing so hard I thought she was going to cry. The simplest thing would set me off and I would use that opportunity to make it a full blown comedy routine.

As I got older much of that comedy faded. Life got more serious. Work changed moods and feelings. Life in general got harder. Somewhere along the way I forgot to laugh. There were actually times where I missed it so much it hurt, but I just couldn’t bring myself to regain that jovial spirit that I had when I was much younger.

As I pondered on this later in life, I began to understand that it wasn’t necessary to take life so seriously. Laughter is medicine and it is an important part of our well being. I would go out with my friend Linda and the stupidest things would almost get us thrown out of restaurants. I would write silly poetry for friends (sometimes to their detriment – in loving way) and I would be in hysterics even before it got read. Slowly, I started to regain that wonderful side of myself that I longed for.

I soon realized that part of my problem was keeping people in my life that sapped that positive energy I needed to fuel the jovial side of my nature. Once I weeded those people out and opened myself up to the people that could laugh with me, the ability to laugh came raging back. Some of my favorite times with my friends are when we are together and find reasons to laugh so hard that it hurts. It fills you with an endorphin rush that would be hard to be matched by a synthetic alternative.

Laughing is an integral part of life. Allowing ourselves to feel the emotion and set it free provides us with avenues to have a more positive outlook on life. Think about the last time you laughed till you cried and the mental and physical rush that gave you. Think about the bond that you shared with the person whom you were laughing with. Think about how long that emotion lasted and the impact that it had on the moment and your day.

Life should never be so hard that we forget to laugh and I hope that you find time in your day to let a little laughter in. It is healthy, it is rejuvenating and it is an awesome stress reliever.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles….and laughs.

Ron

Yesterday, I was thinking just how complicated our world has become. Each day it becomes more and more difficult to maneuver through the happenings in the world without saying something or conveying something that is going set someone off. We have never been more divided as a people and that naturally makes one long for a simpler time.

I grew up in the 1960’s, which certainly had it’s own issues during that era. But the things that I remember are the things of which I am most fond. We lived in a neighborhood where we never locked our doors. My brother and I could be out after dark and my parents didn’t have to worry whether or not we would be home. We respected our elders, we always said yes ma’am and yes sir. Milk still was left in the cooling box by our front door and we always had dinner together around the same table.

Our lives did not evolve around television, cell phones, computers and much of the technology we have today. We created our own games, we played outside, we were creative in our hobbies and most importantly we talked with each other. Of course we had our disagreements, but at the end of the day we were bound by a familial love that got us through difficult situations day after day.

Sometimes I miss sitting at the soda fountain and having root beer float. I miss going into the five and dime and having the owner give us a piece of candy. I miss the church socials where you got to eat some of the best southern cooking on the planet. I miss the annual movie theatre outing where the owner had a day where Santa would come and visit and everyone got popcorn and candy for free.

Maybe I am just feeling a little sentimental as I get older, but when things get difficult in our current world, finding solace in those times gone by seem to bring about a little peace and tranquility that helps to get through the day. There is no question that we are living in complicated times. However, we have the ability to make each day our own and block out the negative around us if we just find our own unique way of doing it.

I hope this post inspires you to revisit some of the good memories of your past. Sometimes all it takes is a little reminder to visit our true selves to bring things back into perspective. With that, have a great day and remember to be the reason someone’s smiles.

Ron

Some time back I wrote about my Aunt that I didn’t reach out to before she passed away. For some reason this week she was on my mind and I was remembering a story of something that happened on one of my trips when she was driving with me for work because I could not drive.

To understand the story you, have to understand my aunt. She was very unique, especially in her stature. She was very short (4’9″) and very large. For her that was a unique part of her personality, but also something that immediately stood out when we were out in public. I often wondered how she dealt with the stares and unkindness of people, but she didn’t seem to care because life to her was just that, life.

On one particular trip in the north of Florida, we decided that we were going to stop at a McDonalds for some lunch. The restaurant wasn’t too busy, but there were a few people ahead of us in line. As we stood in line, I began to notice the workers behind the counter starting to point at her and laugh. One of the workers went and got another worker and they just stood there pointing, staring and rather enjoying themselves. I am not sure if they thought we were blind or we just didn’t care, but they were oblivious to the damage they were doing. The more I watched them the more angry I got until finally it was our turn at the counter.

The minute we walked up to the counter the workers put their serious faces back on and became the workers they were supposed to be. The worker behind the register said to us, “may I help you?” I looked her square in the eyes and said, “no you may not, but your manager can.” As you can imagine she was a bit taken back by my response, yet sheepishly wandered off to get the manager.

As the manager came to the register to take our order, I could see the workers standing off to the back out of the corner of my eye. I explained to him what happened and told him that I was completely disgusted in how the restaurant treated their patrons. I told him that they must see all types of people in their restaurant every day and I wondered if others had suffered a similar experience like we had. He of course apologized, offered to pay for our meal and we went over to our table to eat our lunch.

A couple minutes after we sat down I looked up and saw the two workers who attempted to wait on us coming over to our table. They walked up to the table shaking and proceeded to apologize directly to my Aunt for their behavior. They told her how very sorry they were and promised to be more respectful of people. We thanked them, looked at each other in amazement and continued on to finish our lunch.

The manager that day taught those workers a very valuable lesson. He could have just apologized for them and let the whole incident pass, but he used it as a teaching moment that I am sure those workers would not soon forget. That day they learned that it is never OK to be rude to people because of their appearance, size or stature. They learned that there are consequences for your actions and I am sure that apologizing was not an experience that they soon wanted to have to go through again. Next time we find ourselves in a similar situation, think of my Aunt and the impact that she had on the world on that one day long ago.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

At 5’10 and 197 pounds, people would not normally automatically figure out that food seems to be the one thing in my life that I have difficulty controlling, but unfortunately it is. When I complain about needing to lose pounds, people will always say that I look fine. But what they don’t realize is that I see and feel it very differently and it is a struggle that many people share.

At my heaviest weight I was 213. When I look back at those pictures I wonder how I ever got there. Well, I know how I got there, I ate too much. The reality is if you eat more calories than you burn, then you gain weight. It is that simple. I guess the real question is, why is it so difficult to control?

Several years ago I joined a concierge doctor practice where I finally got a general practitioner that actually spent time with me. He helped me understand the relationship with food and set me on a plan. Not a diet plan, but a plan to limit my intake to just a certain number of calories a day. During that process I developed a love for running and ran every morning until I eventually did my first 5k. I managed to get down to 183, that was 30 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight and I felt great. However, eventually we decided to move from monthly visits to quarterly and then bi annual and once those visits and that support stopped, it was easy to fall back into my old ways.

I hurt my knee, so I couldn’t run anymore. I work from home, so food is always readily accessible. I like trying new restaurants. Fast food is easy for lunch. Can you start to see the excuses. I can be on my way to the store to buy a salad and wind up with fried chicken, potato chips and dip and of course an apple fritter for dessert. I will have just one Coke, that turns into three. Can you see a pattern?

Anyone who has ever struggled with their weight will relate to what I am writing about. Have you ever bought the bag of chips, eaten half of them, decided to throw the rest away and then pulled them out of the garbage and finished them off, while telling yourself if they are gone then you wont be able to eat anymore? How about having a freezer full of Nutrisystem readily available, but going for the egg salad sandwich, Fritos and donut instead? Been there, done that.

Part of recognizing an issue is being open and honest about it. Part of addressing it is admitting it to yourself. Sharing it often makes it real while hiding it allows us to continue a pattern that seems endless. When I was 183, I looked good, I felt good and my blood tests all returned to normal. It’s a place I fully intend to get to again.

I share this story with you today in hopes that if you are struggling that you know that you are not alone. I also share it with you because in doing so I no longer hide in my pantry. Over 17,000 followers of my blog now know the struggle, which means I can’t hide it any longer. It is no longer just my secret. I share my story because while we all want a better world for others, we also want a better world for ourselves.

I have written before about goals. When we achieve them we feel good. Achieving a goal is always a work in progress and it is one day at a time. I look forward to sharing my progress on this journey with you in the future. If you have similar struggles I hope that I have sparked something in you to take that initial step and then another and another, while moving forward just one day at a time. I hope that you also know that you are not alone. It is a struggle that many of us share.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone and YOU smile!

Ron

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OK, so the day goes something like this:

5:30AM Car picks you up at home to take you to a 7:50AM flight from Newark to Tampa.

5:45AM Car gets completely lost and winds up on the Palisades Parkway when they should have been on the Garden State. Not totally terrible but definitely not the best route.

5:30AM – 6:45. Driver keeps falling asleep and running off the road. Must talk to driver to keep him awake.

6:45AM Arrive at airport and find out 7:50AM flight is delayed until 1:20PM. No other flights available

7:00AM Arrive at TSA and line is HUNDREDS of people long. Make it through and hunker down and wait for flight.

1:20PM Get on plane, close door but door reopens because they need to add fuel in case we have to land at an alternate airport due to potential storms in Florida.

2:20 Still sitting on runway because routes to Tampa keep getting cancelled.

2:50 finally take off…7 hours late.

OLD RON: Stressed beyond belief over things that I can not control.

NEW RON: Too blessed to be stressed, so take it in stride.

I am not sure if it is because I am getting older or I am learning to deal with issues in life better, but things that would have totally stressed me out are starting to have a very different effect. Perhaps it is the problems of the world, the issues I am watching others go through or it is simply a matter of focus, but ability to deal with things that are not in my control is getting better with time.

As we go throughout our day we encounter many things that arise that are not in our daily plans. Unexpected events and occurrences happen that are completely out of our control and for which we have no ability to avoid. How we learn to cope and deal with them often has a profound effect on how the rest of our day or even our week is going to go. Often, when we deal with them negatively it becomes a tsunami effect and one negative experience leads to another until things escalate totally out of control. However, understanding that the issues are what they are and reacting positively to them has an influence on our ability to sail through a day and life in general a little better.

No one really wants to live a life that is mired in controversy and negativity. However, for some reason it is easier to get upset over something than it is to just let it go. We sometimes feel the need to react negatively just to feel that we have some type of control over the situation. In reality all it does is make the whole situation worse. When you look at those individual moments in time and compare them to life as a whole, they are a simple blip on the radar. So, the next time you encounter that moment that sends you down a road of despair, tell yourself you are too blessed to be stressed and see what an impact that has on dealing with the issue in a very different way.

Have a great day and remember to be the reason someone smiles today.

Ron

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